Fake it 'til you make it!

A literal fever dream of a newsletter

Greetings, friends!

I’ve been sick for at least a week — testing negative for COVID, but it’s definitely something viral. I’m nearing well again, but man, the fatigue is still kicking my ass.

I’m grateful to have a job that is both flexible and largely stationary, but the timing has been tough: it’s both grant season and the end of the semester, which means I’m up to my neck in deadlines. To make things harder, I’m even more distractible than usual when sick, dangerously vulnerable to the siren song of TikTok. This is how I encountered the emerging saga of the “Delco Pooper,” a scatological road rage incident not far from where I live. At the ripe age of 36, I am not above gross-out humor. I can’t even blame it on being sick.

Speaking of crass stories, I’ve decided that enough time had passed for me to tell you: Just over a year ago, I was introducing a speaker on a zoom call when my elderly chihuahua hopped up next to me and started gagging, then vomiting. I don’t know how, but I man…