How to apologize + Sit & Write #23

Greetings, friends!

My accomplishment of the week was writing a letter to my therapist expressing my frustration over something that happened in session; the details are unimportant, really. But I think the me of 5 years ago (or as Zach gently pointed out, the me of 1 year ago, or perhaps even less) wouldn't have done such a thing. It's scary to stick up for oneself. Taking a stand means making yourself vulnerable, both in expressing your true feelings and in accepting the possibility that whatever you have to say may not be heard, or worse, retaliated against. Thankfully, my therapist wrote back a kind note, acknowledging the ways in which she'd disappointed me, making a plan for how to do better in the future, and praising me for the courage to write the letter in the first place. I think this should be the gold standard for apologies. When we wrong someone, we owe them not just an "I'm sorry" but a full assessment of what went awry and how any damage will be repaired and, if possibl…